Chaucer Invaders

Imagine this on an arcade cabinet screen, twinkling like multicoloured berets in dark sands;

**** Todays Hi Scores ****

100,000 Shakespeare
80,000 Byron
65,000 Plath
50,000 Larkin
40,000 Pollack
35,000 Keats
20,000 Behan

Now there are those who would snobbishly scoff at the idea of writers or painters playing videogames. (Or 'wasting their time' as these wet dogs would no doubt say.) They would be too intent on other things, with minds somewhere among the clouds they'd insist, but I beg to differ. Artists of yesteryear did not indulge because games didn't exist back then, they were science fiction. But had they been around they would have done. Bet on it.
On slow days when the word bug was taking a sabbatical, I can easily picture Philip Larkin collecting orbs in Warhammer, or Oscar Wilde twisting Mario's knobs. Or Hemingway spilling his drink whilst roughing up Level 6 of Pac-Man. And why not? They partook of everything else on offer and videogames these days are not the exclusive realm of teenagers. They have found a new gear and today its not only about shooting things out of the sky. There is fine storytelling and great artistry to be found in the console world and Keats, Coleridge and the guys would have loved it.
What better way to spend a Laudanum break than break out a spot of Soul Calibur or Crazy Taxi? Writer's block getting you down? Need to burn off that amphetamine/gin cocktail? Then Guitar Hero is your game. (And honestly, who couldn't imagine Lord Byron rocking out to Welcome To The Jungle?)
The thing is, too many people take the authors of classic literature (or even humble old good literature) much too seriously. In reality the arcade cabinets would have a-calling the letter peckers as loudly in 1810 as today in 2010. Afterall, artists live for high scores and those glitter epitomes they carry.