Eagles and Sea Birds

It is the start of the 150th Open on the Old Course at St Andrews, Scotland and as is the way for any prestigious sporting event held in Britain the wind and rain have been their predictable selves and turned up to greet both players and fans. Its as inevitable as a dangerous animal finding its way to Australia.
Anyone not from Blighty is looking around thinking 'THIS is summer for you guys?' Better believe it. In order to have the privilage of being home to Shakespeare, Coleridge, Barry John and myself the UK had to agree with the WeatherGod to near constant rain. (This agreement was also supported by the SportsGod, who not being a fan of CCTV and speed cameras preferred US sporting events but thats another story.)
They shouldn't plan these things, what the organisers ought to be doing is waiting for one of those rare scorching days to come along (they do sometimes if not doing anything interesting) and then immediately announce the Open to be erm...open so the players could rush to their private jets and all pile over in a mad rush. It would be much more fun that way, like a big international gang running when the school bell chimes.
Not that golf needs to be made more fun, its fine as it is and those who think it boring don't have any concept of risk or skill. Not this kind of sporting risk anyway. Does the player go for an easy shot down the fairway? Or try and drive it over the lake to get a (hopefully) simple lay up on the green? Play it safe or send a ball sailing over the pine hazards? The bold favour the daring strategy and the glory it pays out in. If you get it right of course.
Still this vulgar British weather is spicing everything up like an albatross in the henhouse. Or a badger. Perhaps they should shoot for badgers instead of birdies? Not shoot as in shotgun sense of the word but shoot with 3 wood drivers. It would be like Mario Kart Does Golf.
One thing before I start to get REALLY silly is the hazards at the fabled Old Course, and more precisely the bunkers. Why are they considered trouble if a golfer lands himself in one? The sand is raked so even and flat that it can hardly be called a hazard to a professional. Ok if a player finds his ball pressed up tight against the bunker wall its tricky but more often than not they find the ball in the middle of the sand, propped nicely due to the iron smooth sand. And from what im watching right now the guys are more than able to free themselves out of the giant holes. Neither coffins nor hell if you ask me. (The bunker on hole 6 is called 'Coffin' and the one on hole 14 is 'Hell'.)
Far better hazards would be craters you would need a ladder to get out of and something wild (and hungry) running around the fairways. Baboons anyone? Or perhaps a few pirhana in the Swilcan Burn? Okay daft but at least have the bunkers live up to their names by actually being HAZARDS. Stop raking the damned sand for God's sake! You can bet your caddie's shirt that when St Andrews was first played, nobody tinkered with the sand. And they had rubbish clubs back then too making the course doubly hard to play. With the type of NASA designed golf equipment on offer today I think its a cheek that the organisers make a round easier by making the bunkers as level as a billiard table.
To be fair there ought to be two choices; either playing the course with new equipment but with old style NON raked bunkers, or play with OLD clubs but allowing for the hazards to be fluffed and smoothed.
But life is never as fair as that so hazard gripe over. And nothing could ever top the roaming baboons anyway. (Well topless lady caddies would but I won't go into that here.)
Interesting to learn that 150 years ago the winners cheque was a mere £10. Today its a little bit more than that standing at around £850,000. (Excluding the accompanying sponsorship deals of course.) Now that may sound a lot, and it IS a fair chunk, but when you figure that the golfer must pay his own air fares and such then at least the prize moolah is actually EARNT. As opposed to a lot of other sportsmen who only have to turn up to get paid. (Stand up footballers.)
You see to earn the big bucks in golf you have to have consistency and keep featuring in the top 20 or 30 otherwise you win very little prize money. And what you do earn as ive said goes to hotels and airfares. I know the sponsors keep the wolves at bay but play rubbish and you wont attract them. So golf keeps it real in a sense, in that they play not only to win but put wine on the table.
The winner of this years Open Championship at the Old Course was South African Louis Oosthuizen, a little known player outside the world of golf and im very happy he did. I get bored with the big names making off with the trophy all the time so having Louis win here and an Irishman (Graeme McDowell) win the US Open last month its very refreshing. It gives the sport a shot in the arm, especially when young exciting talents like Rory McIlroy emerging on the scene. Bravo to golf!