Dope Fiends Suss Another Cafe Window

Click: 'And local councils have unveiled...'
Whirr..Click: 'This weeks top ten....'
(Teeth grinding)
Hiss..click click: 'Rain followed by high winds..'
(Blood swells against temples)
Whirr..Hiss...Click: 'Visit the Butterfly fair for all your sober needs...'
Off Switch/Switch Off

I have quit tuning in to British radio. I can't abide the popcorn being drilled into my ears and butter plugged up my ass. It used to be a constant background noise competing with songbirds and wretching but ever since the Celebrity Tsunami hit our isles and people became obssessed with reality television, I cannot suffer it any longer.
The music is stale and the stories tedious, and the less said about the irritating jingles and advertisements the better. The airwaves have become high on voltage, making tongues drool and knocking eyeballs together like bells in a storm.
You surf the wicker man frame in hope of discovering a distant oddity or raging choir but each twist of the dial brings more shitty dough. The jewels have fallen out of the speakers and there is no panic on the streets because audiences are numbed, they have swallowed the lie that 'celebrity' makes the world go round.
And this is where the internets tricks come in to play. With two clicks of the mouse I am able to access radio from around the world, and American radio I have taken to like a werewolf to buxom damsels. Of course there are still annoying adverts but being a newbie (to stay within internet speak) it is all fresh and exciting, seldom do they grate on the nerves. Also the stations I have discovered do not seem starstruck with rotten celebrity/reality shows.
Its as refreshing as a drunkard finding a new watering hole where all the regulars have deep pockets and long snouts.
Granted the weather and traffic reports are not very useful, and the local news bulletins not critical to learn but it is still better than sitting through snippets of local mush. And hearing the names of alien road names and boulevards at least adds a peculiar layer to the days chapters, the buzz of travelling without leaving the home.
I can't imagine ever going back to local radio now that my net has snagged such foreign baubels. Doing so would be similar to returning to a bar you had been barred from in that you would be familiar in its surroundings but still hold resentment for being banned in the first place.
Radio in the UK has gorged itself so much on tabloid tales and petty scandal that it has become bloated, weighed down in bullshit. Its stilt legs have buckled under pressure from the sugared gossip of the world and no amount of oiled cleavages could rescue it. Only the soulless now follow their rancid scent, and stale tigers need disease to reignite their flesh.
Of course im not as naive to think this grave new culture hasn't reached the United States because it has, the glossy virus has spread worldwide sending millions into an idle hysteria but it hasn't filtered onto the stations I frequent and until they do I am as happy as gas with fire amongst the truck driving ads and reports from death row.