Thursday 19 August 2010

Fake Tan And Window Dressing

Supermarket own brands; yay or nay? I must be honest, when I was in school I used to frown upon the cheaper Happy Shopper products and insist on grand labels. I was a spoiled child/brat and if my beans were not Heinz or my cola not Coke, I would refuse to have anything to do with them. The budget things were for the tramps and I truly belived this. (Sorry dear Mother!)
These days im less fussy, and in fact see little point in buying certain 'big' named foods because they taste INFERIOR to the stuff which is cheaper. In fact I got so intrigued by it all that ive been experimenting with different products. Noodles are a huge rip off if you choose the popular brand (they also make crisps) over the supermarkets own because there is no difference whatsoever in taste. Especially if you eat them like I do from the inside of a scotch egg. (I remove the boiled egg, pour the noodles inside the breadcrumby ball and eat it as one would eat an apple.) Price between the two is a steep rise too, we're talking over £1 here.
Those packet soups are the same (im really highlighting my shabby diet here) and in fact the branded ones are WORSE as the sodium content of these things is so high one might as well drink a mug of salt. Again the difference in prices is sharp, tho not as sharp as the salt in the pricier labels' versions. Give me Morrison's soups anyday over those potentially lethal snacks.
Healthy food too such as fish can be found if one is not too bothered with plain packaging. A pack of 4 'branded' tuna cost £4 for 4 tins whilst if the shopper dismisses the name (and with fish it really is only a name) they can pick up 3 tins for £1! Fish is fish whichever way you look at it, there is no way im shelling out more for something which was hoiked out of the same ocean. Ditto crab.

Wednesday 4 August 2010

Stealing The Dragons Claw

Spirits should be served and enjoyed NEAT, either with ice or not but they should never, EVER be mixed with cola or orange, or any other sickly soft drink. Why do people do this? Are they mad? Do they know of what they do? Ive watched them in taverns order beautiful smokey bourbons and whiskey only to go and ruin them by insisting on having a splash of cola added. And vodka, which seems to be the most abused spirit, gets orange, cherry, lime and God knows what else thrown at it.
It truly is like discovering the fountain of youth only to then go and piss in it.
Neat whiskey, gin *insert favourite spirit here* are grand drinks, the perfect way to wind down the days labour and tricks and ought to be treated with respect, not cheapened with fizzy pop. Its like giving mortality to the angels.
Mixing is a grave sin (in my peachy eyes) and if it were up to me id make it a punishable offence. People found to be cruel with animals are forbidden from owning them and this is what I would do to the mixers. Discovered lacing your shots with fruit flavoured soda? Banned from ever drinking spirits again, no ifs or buts, you get to drink lager for the rest of your days. *Shiver*
I wonder why they do it? Is it because they dislike the taste of spirits? If so why bother drinking them at all? Stick to those wretched WKD type drinks and leave fine stuff to we who enjoy the finer things. Perhaps its to make the drink last longer but if that is indeed the case then people are sacrificing QUALITY for the rather shabby QUANTITY. They deserve the most savage of hangovers.
I will never understand those who are happy drinking WKD and the like. Those are foul tasting drinks filled to the glassy gills with sugar. Vile nonsense. However they do compliment the cheap gold often worn by the fans very well. Nothing says CHEAP quite like alcopops, Argos gold and a dangling cigarette but I digress.
Whiskey and the rest should never be candy flavoured and is utterly spoiled as soon as the liquid sugar hits the glass. Imagine a nice Glenlivet, Aberlour or a 16 year old malt Longhorn getting that sort of treatment? Its vandalism, nothing more.
Resist in the temptation of the lemonade route and try enjoying your libations NEAT. There is a world of difference as all the aromas and blends come alive in your mouth, tasting it in all its raw perfection. Wonderful!
I might be persuaded to understand why people put energy drinks in Jagermeister because the caffiene in those type of drinks combined with alcohol is similar to a speedball of morphine and cocaine and can keep one in the game (drinking) for longer but I still prefer my Jag neat and WELL chilled.
Also apart from the appalling taste of mixed spirits there is the hangover. In younger and more ignorant years I myself wrecked drinks by tipping cola into them and the hangovers which resulted in such stupid behaviour were the most violent and miserable as I have ever known. (And as one who has almost drank himself to death on more than one occasion this is saying a good deal.) Little wonder people are sick outside bars and clubs. But like ive said, they deserve it.
Ive experienced little to no hangovers from keeping it NEAT. Heck more often than not im enjoying a full fried breakfast after a night of whiskey. Or gin. Or Jagermeister. You get the picture. And it has nothing to do with a being snobbish. You are reading an article written by someone who eats mostly with his fingers, belches proudly like a hippo and is as easy going as you're likely to find. Drinking is one of my favoured past times and when I indulge I do NOT want to be tasting soft drinks and I do NOT want to feel as if I am drinking them either. When I open a Strathisla I want to taste WHISKEY not cola. Simple.