Allow me to say before I start that I do not believe death to the End, quite the opposite in fact. I believe there is a rootin' tootin' howler of a party when one crosses the veil into the Afterlife, a place where I can personally thank Coleridge for his wonderful poetry and ask Freddie Mercury what he was doing in Queen. I really do believe in that stuff regardless of what my fellow poets and writers have written so it may not come as a suprise to read what im going to say next.
Graveyards. Why do people visit them? Is it because they are the place which holds a loved ones bones? Or is it because in this ever increasingly busy world, a cemetery is one of the few places left one can find any semblence of peace?
Allow me to set my stall out fully here. Two years ago my mother passed away at an early age. Naturally I was devastated but since she crossed over to those platinum pastures I can count on two hands how many times I have visited her grave. Heartless? Hardly, I weep for dying deer in the middle of the road, it is simply because I know (really know) that she is not in her grave. Sure a shell of what was once my mother lays there but her spirit is now enjoying a very different plateau. She is with me every day so why would I want to visit a slab of marble? That makes no sense to me and in fact looking at cold stone only serves to make the mourner even more miserable (if that were possible) because nothing echoes sadness better than stone.
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Monday, 6 September 2010
Mister Ed Burger and Lassie Curry
By now you will realise dear reader that I am more carnivore than omnivore and today im willing to push the boat (or cleaver in this case) out further and suggest adding horse and dog meat to my already bulging at the seams diet. And why not? I know we have a close relationship with these animals through work (farms, police, etc) and entertainment (My Little Pony, Lassie, etc) but would it be so wrong to dine on them also? Afterall meat is meat and some countries do partake of these meats so its not entirely taboo.
Different places have different attitudes of course; for instance in Ecuador guinea pigs are eaten much like chicken is here, whereas we British keep them as pets but I wouldn't turn my greedy nose up at a guinea pig casserole. In fact it sounds delicious. But going back to horse and dog, is it so wrong to make curry out of doberman or shire horse? There are certainly plenty of them and I would feel more comfortable snacking on horse than say alligator.
I know that dogs and man have been living together, helping each other, for more than 30,000 years. Some studies say its actually closer to 100,000 years. But so have chickens. And cows. Ditto pigs. Oh and sheep. And living with an animal for close to 100,000 years? This is probably why I am so utterly sick of the creatures and do not find my Labrador Lasagne idea the least bit offensive.
Look im already snacking on the rest of the natural living world, I might as well add more variety to the menu. Cats don't taste too bad as it happens, similar to rabbit but more 'livery'. Bit of onion and thyme would sort it. Horse meat is okay, enjoyed the meat in burgers that ive tried but that was smothered in sauce. Another meat I kinda ruined with sauce (tobasco) was snake and I regret that.
I don't believe there is anything I wouldn't at least try. (Perhaps bat soup or buttered mice.) And im keeping good company with another animal lover here too.
What gives some countries the right to try and stop other countries from eating what they want? YOU might not like the sound of Alsatian, egg and chips buy THEY do. I find it downright bad manners. They are not savages just because what they eat offends your precious 'morals' (or whatever it is that gives you the urge to interfere.)
Iys quite simple ~ eat a pig you might as well chow down on ANYTHING else.
Different places have different attitudes of course; for instance in Ecuador guinea pigs are eaten much like chicken is here, whereas we British keep them as pets but I wouldn't turn my greedy nose up at a guinea pig casserole. In fact it sounds delicious. But going back to horse and dog, is it so wrong to make curry out of doberman or shire horse? There are certainly plenty of them and I would feel more comfortable snacking on horse than say alligator.
I know that dogs and man have been living together, helping each other, for more than 30,000 years. Some studies say its actually closer to 100,000 years. But so have chickens. And cows. Ditto pigs. Oh and sheep. And living with an animal for close to 100,000 years? This is probably why I am so utterly sick of the creatures and do not find my Labrador Lasagne idea the least bit offensive.
Look im already snacking on the rest of the natural living world, I might as well add more variety to the menu. Cats don't taste too bad as it happens, similar to rabbit but more 'livery'. Bit of onion and thyme would sort it. Horse meat is okay, enjoyed the meat in burgers that ive tried but that was smothered in sauce. Another meat I kinda ruined with sauce (tobasco) was snake and I regret that.
I don't believe there is anything I wouldn't at least try. (Perhaps bat soup or buttered mice.) And im keeping good company with another animal lover here too.
What gives some countries the right to try and stop other countries from eating what they want? YOU might not like the sound of Alsatian, egg and chips buy THEY do. I find it downright bad manners. They are not savages just because what they eat offends your precious 'morals' (or whatever it is that gives you the urge to interfere.)
Iys quite simple ~ eat a pig you might as well chow down on ANYTHING else.
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Fake Tan And Window Dressing
Supermarket own brands; yay or nay? I must be honest, when I was in school I used to frown upon the cheaper Happy Shopper products and insist on grand labels. I was a spoiled child/brat and if my beans were not Heinz or my cola not Coke, I would refuse to have anything to do with them. The budget things were for the tramps and I truly belived this. (Sorry dear Mother!)
These days im less fussy, and in fact see little point in buying certain 'big' named foods because they taste INFERIOR to the stuff which is cheaper. In fact I got so intrigued by it all that ive been experimenting with different products. Noodles are a huge rip off if you choose the popular brand (they also make crisps) over the supermarkets own because there is no difference whatsoever in taste. Especially if you eat them like I do from the inside of a scotch egg. (I remove the boiled egg, pour the noodles inside the breadcrumby ball and eat it as one would eat an apple.) Price between the two is a steep rise too, we're talking over £1 here.
Those packet soups are the same (im really highlighting my shabby diet here) and in fact the branded ones are WORSE as the sodium content of these things is so high one might as well drink a mug of salt. Again the difference in prices is sharp, tho not as sharp as the salt in the pricier labels' versions. Give me Morrison's soups anyday over those potentially lethal snacks.
Healthy food too such as fish can be found if one is not too bothered with plain packaging. A pack of 4 'branded' tuna cost £4 for 4 tins whilst if the shopper dismisses the name (and with fish it really is only a name) they can pick up 3 tins for £1! Fish is fish whichever way you look at it, there is no way im shelling out more for something which was hoiked out of the same ocean. Ditto crab.
These days im less fussy, and in fact see little point in buying certain 'big' named foods because they taste INFERIOR to the stuff which is cheaper. In fact I got so intrigued by it all that ive been experimenting with different products. Noodles are a huge rip off if you choose the popular brand (they also make crisps) over the supermarkets own because there is no difference whatsoever in taste. Especially if you eat them like I do from the inside of a scotch egg. (I remove the boiled egg, pour the noodles inside the breadcrumby ball and eat it as one would eat an apple.) Price between the two is a steep rise too, we're talking over £1 here.
Those packet soups are the same (im really highlighting my shabby diet here) and in fact the branded ones are WORSE as the sodium content of these things is so high one might as well drink a mug of salt. Again the difference in prices is sharp, tho not as sharp as the salt in the pricier labels' versions. Give me Morrison's soups anyday over those potentially lethal snacks.
Healthy food too such as fish can be found if one is not too bothered with plain packaging. A pack of 4 'branded' tuna cost £4 for 4 tins whilst if the shopper dismisses the name (and with fish it really is only a name) they can pick up 3 tins for £1! Fish is fish whichever way you look at it, there is no way im shelling out more for something which was hoiked out of the same ocean. Ditto crab.
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Stealing The Dragons Claw
Spirits should be served and enjoyed NEAT, either with ice or not but they should never, EVER be mixed with cola or orange, or any other sickly soft drink. Why do people do this? Are they mad? Do they know of what they do? Ive watched them in taverns order beautiful smokey bourbons and whiskey only to go and ruin them by insisting on having a splash of cola added. And vodka, which seems to be the most abused spirit, gets orange, cherry, lime and God knows what else thrown at it.
It truly is like discovering the fountain of youth only to then go and piss in it.
Neat whiskey, gin *insert favourite spirit here* are grand drinks, the perfect way to wind down the days labour and tricks and ought to be treated with respect, not cheapened with fizzy pop. Its like giving mortality to the angels.
Mixing is a grave sin (in my peachy eyes) and if it were up to me id make it a punishable offence. People found to be cruel with animals are forbidden from owning them and this is what I would do to the mixers. Discovered lacing your shots with fruit flavoured soda? Banned from ever drinking spirits again, no ifs or buts, you get to drink lager for the rest of your days. *Shiver*
I wonder why they do it? Is it because they dislike the taste of spirits? If so why bother drinking them at all? Stick to those wretched WKD type drinks and leave fine stuff to we who enjoy the finer things. Perhaps its to make the drink last longer but if that is indeed the case then people are sacrificing QUALITY for the rather shabby QUANTITY. They deserve the most savage of hangovers.
I will never understand those who are happy drinking WKD and the like. Those are foul tasting drinks filled to the glassy gills with sugar. Vile nonsense. However they do compliment the cheap gold often worn by the fans very well. Nothing says CHEAP quite like alcopops, Argos gold and a dangling cigarette but I digress.
Whiskey and the rest should never be candy flavoured and is utterly spoiled as soon as the liquid sugar hits the glass. Imagine a nice Glenlivet, Aberlour or a 16 year old malt Longhorn getting that sort of treatment? Its vandalism, nothing more.
Resist in the temptation of the lemonade route and try enjoying your libations NEAT. There is a world of difference as all the aromas and blends come alive in your mouth, tasting it in all its raw perfection. Wonderful!
I might be persuaded to understand why people put energy drinks in Jagermeister because the caffiene in those type of drinks combined with alcohol is similar to a speedball of morphine and cocaine and can keep one in the game (drinking) for longer but I still prefer my Jag neat and WELL chilled.
Also apart from the appalling taste of mixed spirits there is the hangover. In younger and more ignorant years I myself wrecked drinks by tipping cola into them and the hangovers which resulted in such stupid behaviour were the most violent and miserable as I have ever known. (And as one who has almost drank himself to death on more than one occasion this is saying a good deal.) Little wonder people are sick outside bars and clubs. But like ive said, they deserve it.
Ive experienced little to no hangovers from keeping it NEAT. Heck more often than not im enjoying a full fried breakfast after a night of whiskey. Or gin. Or Jagermeister. You get the picture. And it has nothing to do with a being snobbish. You are reading an article written by someone who eats mostly with his fingers, belches proudly like a hippo and is as easy going as you're likely to find. Drinking is one of my favoured past times and when I indulge I do NOT want to be tasting soft drinks and I do NOT want to feel as if I am drinking them either. When I open a Strathisla I want to taste WHISKEY not cola. Simple.
It truly is like discovering the fountain of youth only to then go and piss in it.
Neat whiskey, gin *insert favourite spirit here* are grand drinks, the perfect way to wind down the days labour and tricks and ought to be treated with respect, not cheapened with fizzy pop. Its like giving mortality to the angels.
Mixing is a grave sin (in my peachy eyes) and if it were up to me id make it a punishable offence. People found to be cruel with animals are forbidden from owning them and this is what I would do to the mixers. Discovered lacing your shots with fruit flavoured soda? Banned from ever drinking spirits again, no ifs or buts, you get to drink lager for the rest of your days. *Shiver*
I wonder why they do it? Is it because they dislike the taste of spirits? If so why bother drinking them at all? Stick to those wretched WKD type drinks and leave fine stuff to we who enjoy the finer things. Perhaps its to make the drink last longer but if that is indeed the case then people are sacrificing QUALITY for the rather shabby QUANTITY. They deserve the most savage of hangovers.
I will never understand those who are happy drinking WKD and the like. Those are foul tasting drinks filled to the glassy gills with sugar. Vile nonsense. However they do compliment the cheap gold often worn by the fans very well. Nothing says CHEAP quite like alcopops, Argos gold and a dangling cigarette but I digress.
Whiskey and the rest should never be candy flavoured and is utterly spoiled as soon as the liquid sugar hits the glass. Imagine a nice Glenlivet, Aberlour or a 16 year old malt Longhorn getting that sort of treatment? Its vandalism, nothing more.
Resist in the temptation of the lemonade route and try enjoying your libations NEAT. There is a world of difference as all the aromas and blends come alive in your mouth, tasting it in all its raw perfection. Wonderful!
I might be persuaded to understand why people put energy drinks in Jagermeister because the caffiene in those type of drinks combined with alcohol is similar to a speedball of morphine and cocaine and can keep one in the game (drinking) for longer but I still prefer my Jag neat and WELL chilled.
Also apart from the appalling taste of mixed spirits there is the hangover. In younger and more ignorant years I myself wrecked drinks by tipping cola into them and the hangovers which resulted in such stupid behaviour were the most violent and miserable as I have ever known. (And as one who has almost drank himself to death on more than one occasion this is saying a good deal.) Little wonder people are sick outside bars and clubs. But like ive said, they deserve it.
Ive experienced little to no hangovers from keeping it NEAT. Heck more often than not im enjoying a full fried breakfast after a night of whiskey. Or gin. Or Jagermeister. You get the picture. And it has nothing to do with a being snobbish. You are reading an article written by someone who eats mostly with his fingers, belches proudly like a hippo and is as easy going as you're likely to find. Drinking is one of my favoured past times and when I indulge I do NOT want to be tasting soft drinks and I do NOT want to feel as if I am drinking them either. When I open a Strathisla I want to taste WHISKEY not cola. Simple.
Monday, 26 July 2010
The Monday Which Is Really A Friday
The headline is exactly what it says on the tin. I shun the usual 'weekend celebrations' of a Friday in order that I am able to partake of a drop (or ten) on Monday. I find Monday a thoroughly depressing day, much worse than Sunday, and I never intend to spend any Monday sober as long as I live. And even with a bottle it is only TOLERABLE, never HAPPY. It is a giant itch that only my brand of liquid relief is able to soothe.
And why not? I find Fridays a particularly busy day and write a good deal on those days. Perhaps my creative antenna is tuned better, or the ideas in my mind have a better Feng Shui about them? Who even cares? It is enough to know that Friday nearly always brings a bountiful crop of sonnets and wordy imps to my door and if I ignore the pleasures of wine on those days, then surely I have earned the right to treat Monday as part of the weekend and indulge accordingly.
I don't need an excuse to get erased (a better word for blotto) but I do need discipline. Even the most shambolic among us need the big D or else it all falls to bits in a worthless mess. So discipline it is then on a Friday so that it makes Monday far more alluring, dolled up in its 35% proof garments.
I don't see anything pretty on the M day. Its as if the drizzle of the day (even in sunshine) completely blunts my otherwise keen ability to see BEYOND words and events. It is like a shroud over inspiration, pretty words are hard to jemmy out of a Monday and so I shall do the sensible thing and pass on it. Im betting Wordsworth and his pal Coleridge did the same.
It is a grand day to be born on (guess what day I was born?) and not such a bad day to die on either, but as for getting anything of real substance written it is a wretched, miserable day, fit only for firewood. And alcohol. However lets back track a little here. Perhaps pornography is best written (if it can be called that) on Mondays.
And why not? I find Fridays a particularly busy day and write a good deal on those days. Perhaps my creative antenna is tuned better, or the ideas in my mind have a better Feng Shui about them? Who even cares? It is enough to know that Friday nearly always brings a bountiful crop of sonnets and wordy imps to my door and if I ignore the pleasures of wine on those days, then surely I have earned the right to treat Monday as part of the weekend and indulge accordingly.
I don't need an excuse to get erased (a better word for blotto) but I do need discipline. Even the most shambolic among us need the big D or else it all falls to bits in a worthless mess. So discipline it is then on a Friday so that it makes Monday far more alluring, dolled up in its 35% proof garments.
I don't see anything pretty on the M day. Its as if the drizzle of the day (even in sunshine) completely blunts my otherwise keen ability to see BEYOND words and events. It is like a shroud over inspiration, pretty words are hard to jemmy out of a Monday and so I shall do the sensible thing and pass on it. Im betting Wordsworth and his pal Coleridge did the same.
It is a grand day to be born on (guess what day I was born?) and not such a bad day to die on either, but as for getting anything of real substance written it is a wretched, miserable day, fit only for firewood. And alcohol. However lets back track a little here. Perhaps pornography is best written (if it can be called that) on Mondays.
Lament To Mother
Two years ago today you crossed that barbed path and the silence weighs heavy but not still. As I look to Pickles kicking I am reminded that nothing ever truly dies to those with open eyes, and you know me Mother, my eyes are wider than most. The songs of forever after don't hide from me on this wretched earth and I play them repeatedly knowing End is not so final or frail, and knowing you are not at End.
For You
There is hole now where once I ran to hide
from bitter things that would eventually pass;
a shelter where comfort was in abundance
and I knew to be safe.
A beach where all things were possible
even a peaceful world,
where I indulged without war or anger.
It has withered now you have gone
and I no longer find sanctuary.
I miss you mother
you were my peace,
my cotton swab -
all roads lead to you...
@Steven Francis poems 2010
For You
There is hole now where once I ran to hide
from bitter things that would eventually pass;
a shelter where comfort was in abundance
and I knew to be safe.
A beach where all things were possible
even a peaceful world,
where I indulged without war or anger.
It has withered now you have gone
and I no longer find sanctuary.
I miss you mother
you were my peace,
my cotton swab -
all roads lead to you...
@Steven Francis poems 2010
Thursday, 22 July 2010
The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On ....Wales
One would think sitting here on the tail end of July with a fan buzzing away at my side as I croak out these words that I was bathed in glorious sunshine. That my Crocs (rubber shoes not pets) would be smoking on the back porch from yet another blisteringly hot ramble through the Welsh hills, while the cat sought relief in shade with a shrew puppet. Thats how it would be in a lot of places. Barbecue smoke ascending from every garden as toddlers and beer bellied men wallowed in flimsy looking paddling pools.
Alas it is not to be as I live in West Wales, on a tiny corner of the United Kingdom and it seems we don't 'do' good weather here, its just not British. We do real ales and fried breakfasts, seasides and young hoodlums (often together) but attracting a bit of lasting sunshine is beyond our Sceptred Isle. (Who said septic? Go to the back of the blog.)
Oh we get it occasionaly when theres nothing interesting happening elsewhere in the world. If its quiet on the Mediterrean front or nothing doing in Australia, then the sun will show its buttery face over Blighty but by and large we are persona non grata to the mighty orb. Even if the beer is COLD and pinball tables twinkling.
I wonder why this is? I know we can be a grumpy bunch but surely the sun can't hear our whining? Not from that height.
My guess it was down to one of those pagan druids who damned us to everlasting rain. They were always potching with spells while dancing starkers on mushrooms. Probably offended the Weather God who is not the most content of chaps to start with. (Well He DOES change his mind often but as He's a God I guess He's allowed.)
Its sad really because we have some beautiful places to visit for both locals and tourists alike. Look at Pembrokeshire doer example with places like Solva, Tenby and Newgale, which when the sun is out are truly stunning, almost like relics of fantasy lands dropped into reality to keep the notion of paradise alive. Places definately gauranteed to soothe away the anxieties of even the most restless spirit.
But anyway enough of sounding like the West Wales tourism board, lets get to the (vaguely) serious topic of British weather. Having a near constant grey canopy to live under can be extremely daunting because it robs one of the OOMPH (Americans would call it ZIP) to get out of bed in a positive and jovial manner. Its little wonder that across the pond you are greeted in shops with a merry 'Have A Nice Day Sir/Madam,' whilst over here its more like a gruff 'paper? 40p mate now sod off!' And while the last few words might be exaggeration on my part its not too far off the mark, but can you blame us? Our climate would take the grin off a dolphin.
And this whiny rant (oh I know when im whining don't worry) is coming from someone who rather dislikes the sun. Living in somewhere like Australia would send me around the bend. (Make that another bend.)
Alas it is not to be as I live in West Wales, on a tiny corner of the United Kingdom and it seems we don't 'do' good weather here, its just not British. We do real ales and fried breakfasts, seasides and young hoodlums (often together) but attracting a bit of lasting sunshine is beyond our Sceptred Isle. (Who said septic? Go to the back of the blog.)
Oh we get it occasionaly when theres nothing interesting happening elsewhere in the world. If its quiet on the Mediterrean front or nothing doing in Australia, then the sun will show its buttery face over Blighty but by and large we are persona non grata to the mighty orb. Even if the beer is COLD and pinball tables twinkling.
I wonder why this is? I know we can be a grumpy bunch but surely the sun can't hear our whining? Not from that height.
My guess it was down to one of those pagan druids who damned us to everlasting rain. They were always potching with spells while dancing starkers on mushrooms. Probably offended the Weather God who is not the most content of chaps to start with. (Well He DOES change his mind often but as He's a God I guess He's allowed.)
Its sad really because we have some beautiful places to visit for both locals and tourists alike. Look at Pembrokeshire doer example with places like Solva, Tenby and Newgale, which when the sun is out are truly stunning, almost like relics of fantasy lands dropped into reality to keep the notion of paradise alive. Places definately gauranteed to soothe away the anxieties of even the most restless spirit.
But anyway enough of sounding like the West Wales tourism board, lets get to the (vaguely) serious topic of British weather. Having a near constant grey canopy to live under can be extremely daunting because it robs one of the OOMPH (Americans would call it ZIP) to get out of bed in a positive and jovial manner. Its little wonder that across the pond you are greeted in shops with a merry 'Have A Nice Day Sir/Madam,' whilst over here its more like a gruff 'paper? 40p mate now sod off!' And while the last few words might be exaggeration on my part its not too far off the mark, but can you blame us? Our climate would take the grin off a dolphin.
And this whiny rant (oh I know when im whining don't worry) is coming from someone who rather dislikes the sun. Living in somewhere like Australia would send me around the bend. (Make that another bend.)
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